Sunday, December 30, 2007
After Santa, Before Blake
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas to all of my friends out here in bloggie land. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and that happiness surrounds you. My love to all of you.
She never pushed me to call her mom. She just let it happen naturally. My birth mother was just that, a birth mother. She had some problems with addiction and all I remember of her is that she slept a lot. When Ms. Betty Sunday came around, I was a mess in need of a mother. She had two grown children but that didn't stop her from loving me.
In many ways, I think she saved me. She taught me about hard work and most of all laughter. We laughed so much. She loved my dad even though he was the hardest man alive to love. They were soul mates and I really feel they are back together again right now. She taught me how to stand up for myself and that I was the one that would choose how I would turn out. She was proud of me. I have so many fond memories of playing with her an my cousins on the farm I grew up on. We didn't have much money but when dad was away, we would play. We had food fights and water fights. She was the kind of mom that would spank you when you needed it but it was never unfair.
Later in life when I moved several states away from her she was never bitter. She was happy that I was happy and had made a life for myself. We kept in touch and I was able to say my goodbyes. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital and I had knew deep down that it would be the last time I would see her. We cuddled and I told her how much she had meant to me over the years. I told her that she taught me what it meant to be a mother. She didn't have to take in that ragamuffin 4 year old little girl and love her. She could have just been my step mom. But she wasn't. I was hers and she never said or acted in any other way.
I miss you mom, I miss your stories and your letters and your cards. I am thankful that I will see you again someday and that I am sure in the knowledge of this. I am glad you aren't in pain anymore and that you are with your love. Make him behave until I see you guys again. I am happy and I am strong and you had a big hand in that. I love you mom...forever.
1. List 12 random things about yourself that have to do with Christmas
2. Please refer to it as a 'hoopla' and not the dreaded 'm'-word
3. You have to specifically tag people when you're done. None of this "if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged" stuff is allowed...then nobody ends up actually doing it. The number of people who you tag is really up to you -- but the more, the merrier to get this 'hoopla' circulating through the blogosphere.
4. Please try and do it as quickly as possible. The Christmas season will be over before we know it and I'd like to get as many people involved as possible.
1) I tend to get stressed during the Christmas holiday.
2) I always worry that I will forget to give something to someone.
3) I feel bad if someone gets me something and I didn't get them anything.
4) Seeing Christmas through my sons eyes has made Christmas so much sweeter for me
5) I used to get so many more Christmas cards than I do now. I think it's a dying art and it makes me sad
6) I still send out as many cards as I always have because I have hope
7)Joining the church gave me a whole new outlook on Christmas
8) I'm trying to make sure that my son knows the meaning of Christmas and understands that it's not all about the presents.
9)I really miss the singing Christmas Cards that my mom used to send me
10) I'm thankful to have my hubbys family that have adopted me as one of theirs over the years. We live close to them and get to spend a lot of time with them over the holidays.
11) 2 years ago today my mother passed away which forever changed Christmas for me.
12) As a child we always got to open one present on Christmas Eve and it was always a new pair of jammies.
I know these are lame but at least I did it right?? So now, I am going to tag Yvette (because she's sweet and I know she'll do it :o) No pressure right..LOL
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Some people seem to make it look easy. Just read some of the wonderful blogs right over there>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> to the right of this post. I was telling my husband the other day that I feel like a messy, unorganized closet. On the outside, everything looks good. All neat and tidy. But if you open the door, a pile of clothes and couple of pairs of shoes might hit you in the head. If you came to my house, you would probably say, "Gee, she keeps a pretty clean, lived in yes, but clean" but if you were to open the cupboard in the kitchen, the closets, or the garage you might run out screaming. In many areas of my life, I am very organized but these tasks have gotten away from me. So, I have decided that next year I am going to make a list of all the projects I want to get done. I will then make a goal of getting at least one done per month. Even if it's as small as organizing under the sink. I'm hoping that by writing it down, I can get it out of my head and on the way to being complete.
I just realized that I'm babbling on and on. It must be time for sleep. If you made it this far, congrats and goodnight.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Blake made his requests to the big man in red.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper, I only use gift bags for Birthdays
2. Real tree or artificial? Since we moved to Oregon 13 years ago, we have had a real tree. I have threatened many times to get a fake one because of the mess etc but I never follow through.
3. When do you put up the tree? First or second weekend in December.
4. When do you take the tree down? First thing January 1st....ish :o)
5. Which do you prefer: eggnog, spiced cider, or hot cocoa? Hot cocoa for sure
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Easy bake oven (which is odd since I really don't like to cook)
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes
8. Hardest person to buy for? Hubs parents
9. Easiest person to buy for? My son, he likes everything except what he calls "girl toys".
10. Worst Christmas gift ever received? I can't think of anything
11. Mail or email Christmas card? Mail, it's a dying tradition but I still love it.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? White Christmas
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Depends on how organized I am that year but I usually kick it off when we go to the beach in late October.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Don't think so
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate covered cherries
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? The more color and blinking going on, the better.
17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home is where the heart is plus all of our family is around here
19. Can you name Santa's reindeer? Yep - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder (even though I don't get the extra D in there) and Rudolph
20. Do you have an Angel on top or a star? A pretty white angel
I'm not going to tag anyone but feel free to play along if you want to.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, I had to take the car into the shop AGAIN and they had to keep it overnight so I rented a car for the night. The only thing they had left was a Dodge Grand Caravan mini-van. I fell in LOVE with this car. The sliding doors in the back open automagically, it has stow and go seats and many other features that are just awesome.
So last night, we braved the rain and freezing weather to start the hunt for the perfect used van for us. We are still on the hunt (which is good for us because we usually impulse buy). We're hoping to get a good deal since we are at the end of the year etc etc. Wish us luck.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Eating dinner at 9pm
Trying to keep a 5 year old clean and happy all that time
3 changes of clothes
Making funny faces until your face hurts
Getting the perfect shot that shows every ounce of your child's personality....PRICELESS
It's not the "ideal" shot but man does it show exactly who he is and I love it.
Here are some others that are a bit more "normal"..LOL
Friday, November 23, 2007
Every year my dear friends and I brave the cold/rain/crowds in search of that great bargain that we can't live without. Yep, I am one of the nutty people that get up before the dawn and stand in line wiping the sleep out my eyes and waiting for them to open the doors.
We start at Fred Meyer which opens at 5am and then head over to a great shopping center with several stores. We stop in between and have a nice breakfast and usually wear out by about 11am. It a tradition that is now in it's 7th year and we wouldn't dream of ever stopping. We have so much fun and it never fails to get me in the holiday mood.
I got the best deals today. Hubby and I carefully went through the coupons and made lists (his contribution to the shopping) so I was all ready with what I was getting and for whom and where. Before today I had purchased a whopping 2 gifts but after today I am almost finished with EVERYONE...YIPPEE. That is a relief and I really did well with keeping the costs down.
I'm feeling like I just might get through this year without stressing to much. Next weekend we'll get the tree (we get a live one) and get all the decorations up. I am sitting here listening to my favorite Christmas music and I am truly filled with the spirit of Christmas. Shopping is good therapy..LOL
Now, where to hide all my spoils to keep them from wandering eyes.....
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I love Thanksgiving, it's a great time to really reflect on all that we have been given. No pressure about presents. Just getting together with family and friends. Having a nice meal.
I am so thankful for all the Lord has blessed me with. I have a great husband (who deserves a medal sometimes for putting up with me), a great little boy that loves his mommy and is such a joy to be around (well, 99% of the time), a wonderful family of in-laws that has taken me in and counted me as one of their own, 2 of the best friends that a girl could ask for (more like sisters than friends), my church and my testimony and the fact that my husband now has his own testimony, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for loving me and always being there (they really do know each of us individually and our circumstances and want to help), all the friends that I have out here in cyberspace, I have met some amazing people that lift, inspire and make me laugh. I'm thankful for our home, our health, our abundance of all that we need.
I have to be honest that when I sat down to post, I was feeling a bit grumpy but listing out all that I have been given has turned my attitude around 360 degrees. What are you all thankful for? I really should start adding something that I'm thankful for to each post. Maybe I'll try to list 3 to 5 things each time. Yep, I'm going to do that. Keep me honest if you see that I forget.
Happy Thanksgiving!!! Gobble Gobble.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Saturday we had Blake's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese. Everything went well and he had a great time. The only glitch was when we went to pick up the cake they didn't have it done. The order had been misfiled. They had to take a cake out of the display and in 5 minutes flat transform it into a transformers cake. It wasn't the best looking but Blake loved it and that's all that matters. Plus, they gave it to us for half price.
After the party, we dropped Blake of at the in-laws and got ready for the Saturday evening session of Stake conference. This is the one that we were assigned to speak at. I think it went pretty well. The spirit was strong and I don't think anyone heard our knees knocking. It was a good experience getting ready for it but I'm glad it's done. We then went to dinner late and headed home to crash.
Today was the Sunday session of conference and then we went to our nephews 1st birthday party.
The weekend went by in a flash and now just a 3 day work week and a nice long holiday weekend. I'm looking forward to it.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
It's Veterans day which I always thought was appropriate for you to pass away on having served for 21 years in the Airforce. You were a military man through and through and cultivated in me a great love of the men and women who fight and have fought for our freedom. I am very patriotic and even have a tattoo of the flag that you never saw.
I have cried today thinking of you and your big tough exterior. You were formidable at 6'6 and 250 pounds. I know that you did the best you could and that being addicted to the alcohol was a disease. It was very hard to live with you with the alcohol. I often wonder what it would have been like without it. It was hard to watch you push away everyone that loved you and that you loved but were too proud to say it. Regardless, you helped me know what it means to work hard and "if you are going to do it, do it right". You instilled in me a great work ethic and showed me what it was like to be loyal to those that you love. You didn't say it often but I know that you loved me. I know because you always took care of me. I'm glad that I forgave you before you were gone. I miss you singing to me on my Birthday, I miss you calling me Ethel May. I miss you Dad. I hope we will see each other again. I hope you are proud of me. I hope you know how happy I am. I love you!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
My new job is going pretty well. It's very busy so the days just fly by. I start at 5am at home and work until 7am and then get on the train. This allows me to leave work between 2 and 230pm. It's worth it to have more time with Blake.
Blake's birthday is soon so I've been busy planning that. He's going to be 5 and has begged us for a couple of years to go to Chuck-E-Cheese so we're going to relent. Yes, we love him just that much. It's such a zoo but he loves it and you only turn 5 once. The good news is that you have to be done with the party in a hour and half and it goes by fast. He's really into transformers right now so that will be his theme.
I can't think of anything else right now. It seems that we are busy most every weekday evening with something. Now that both of us are members of the church, it's amazing how many "good" things can fill your time. I am reminded of a talk by Elder Oaks in the last conference about "good, better and best" It's all about how you can be so busy doing things that are all considered good that you have start picking and choosing the best of these things. That's a tough one and I'm still working on it. It's the whole need to please people.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
First of all thank you so much Nancy for yet another award this week. It's the "wonder woman" award. I certainly don't feel like wonder woman at the moment but I keep trying and that has to count for something right? If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
Friday, October 19, 2007
What a wonderful way to start my day!! One of my newest bloggy friends Nancy has given me my very first bloggy award. Her blog is a real treat to me as well. Thank you again Nancy. I shall try to be worthy.
Now, I would like to give this award to Yvonne. Her blog is always a real treat to read. She is so sweet and genuine. Even when she is down, she is positive and counts her blessings. Check her out for yourself and I'm sure you will agree.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
With that said, I am actually feeling a bit more on the human side today. Not completely well but enough that I have hope that my head won't always have this yucky stuff all clogged up in there. I slept more than 5 minutes at a time last night which helped immensely. Sleep is not over-rated people. See, I can be positive :p
Monday, October 15, 2007
So, I give...I'm going to the doctor tomorrow unless there is a miracle tonight and wake up all better tomorrow.
On the bright side, hubby has been really helpful (even though I am a horrible grouchy patient, thank you honey) and even took my son to church without me on Sunday and to the ward activity that I missed Saturday night. WHAT??? You heard me. MY husband went to 2 (count em) 2 church things without me. Who is this man and what have you done with my husband? He even got his first calling as the Young Men's secretary. He's excited about working with youth. I know he'll do a great job.
My son has been really sweet as well. When I came home today he hugged me and said "How are you feeling mom?" I told that I still didn't feel very good and he said "Awww, poor Mommy, I'll go get you a cough drop" What a sweetie.
Oh well, all the stuff I am not getting done will still be there for me when I get better. To quote one of my favorite movies " After all, tomorrow is another day"
Friday, October 12, 2007
That's how I feel this last couple of weeks. I feel so overwhelmed and so unequipped to do everything that I want and need to do. Full time job (new and stressful but good), later hours at said job (while I am training), less time with family and especially my son, full time callings at church, the house is a wreck, the car needs some repairs and there are projects on top of my projects that aren't getting done.
This month is getting away from me. I don't have a costume for Blake or even a plan for one. I don't have candy to hand out. I haven't started Christmas shopping. I am coming up short in so many areas. Yes, I know, I am whining. It's just the moment I'm in. It doesn't mean that I don't feel blessed. I do.
To top things off, I'm sick. My chest feels like it has a house sitting on it and my throat is mega sore. I'm not surprise. My son was sick. My immune system usually gets compromised when I'm burning the candle at both ends. I can't even imagine the germs that my hands have come into contact with on the Max (mass transit train) and tis the season for kids to get new bugs going around. It was bound to happen.
Now I'm going to go take my Nyquil and hope for some good sleep tonight. Hurray for Saturday!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
1. What TV show have you seen every episode of? Full House (yes, I know I'm lame) I just love that show from the 80's with all it's big hair and dramatic music.
2. What show makes you laugh until you cry? America's Funniest Home videos (who doesn't like to watch people fall down, admit it.
3.What show do you wish had not been cancelled? Even though it was time for it to go, I wish Friends was still on and could be as good as the beginning.
4. What show do you wish WOULD be cancelled?Just about everything on MTV.
5. Who is your favorite TV characters, either past or present? Gregory House, MD; Joey (from Friends) George (from Grey's Anatomy)
Monday, October 8, 2007
A- Attached or single: Attached
B- Best Friend: My hubby
C-Cake or Pie: Cake, unless it's Pumpkin Pie and then there is no contest..
D- Day of choice: Saturday or Sunday
E- Essential Item: Lotion
F- Favorite Color: Red
G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Bears
H- Hometown: Chelsea, OK
I- Indulgence(s): Chocolate, Chocolate and more chocolate
J- January or July: January, I like the colder weather
K-Kids: 1 wonderful little boy
L-Life is Incomplete Without: My family
M- Marriage Date: May 11th, 1993
N- Number of Siblings: 1 brothers, 1 sisters
O- Oranges or Apples: Apples (because they are easier)
P- Phobias or Fears: Balloons that pop ( I know, I'm weird)
Q- Quotes: If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got!
R- Reason To Smile: Kisses and hugs from hubby and son
S- Season: Fall
T- Tag Three +: Anyone that would like to.
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I'm an AirForce brat
V- Vegetarian or Meat Eater: Meat Eater
W- Worst Habit: I can be bossy
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds
Y- Your Favorite Food: Pasta
Z- Zodiac: Scorpio
Saturday, October 6, 2007
It's a whole new world downtown for sure. I'm getting used to riding the Max (the transit train into downtown). I think I'm really going to come to enjoy that time for reading, listening to music or whatever.
I think the challenge for me is going to be getting used to the "head down/eyes forward" mentality downtown. It's a very fast paced and busy world. It's been hard to see all the homeless people and not want to stop and "fix" everyone. There is one gentlemen that sits out in the same spot every morning and he's a veteran that needs help. I stopped and talked to him and he's has a place to live but needs help making his rent and getting food. I think I'm going to allow myself to help him when I can. If I have at least one person to help then I think it will be easier. I guess I am what some would call a "bleeding heart". I can't help it.
There are a lot of really cool stores downtown and a huge mall and lots of neat places to eat. It's going to be fun exploring it all. I am going to lunch with a friend that works downtown Monday.
The job itself is going to be good I think. The training and documentation is good. The people are nice but so far I don't have much in common with most of them. None of the people I work directly with have kids nor do they seem to want to. I'm sure it will just take time.
In short, I'm so glad it's general conference weekend. I could really use a refill for my spiritual tank. I'm looking forward to hanging out in my jammies and listening to the leaders of my church. I'm sure there will be something just for me :o)
Monday, October 1, 2007
I might be M.I.A. a bit for awhile here and there as I get used to the new schedule and try to fit everything in so if I don't make it to all your blogs, don't worry, I'll get caught up at some point. After I am trained, I will be working earlier and getting back to a more normal schedule...I hope.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Now to look forward to my next big adventure. I start on Monday. My friend that works there is going to meet me and we'll ride in on Max (our mass transit train) together. Wish me luck.
Now I know what they mean when they say "Parting is such sweet sorrow"
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I joined the church (a whole other story) in March of 2002 so that would have been close to six years that we had been trying. We decided that we would start looking into adoption. Private adoption through an agency was way outside our budget so we started looking at it through the state. The first thing you do is take a 6 week set of classes. We started the classes and in July of 02 we heard from my mom that one of my second cousins by marriage was pregnant and didn't want the baby. We were hopeful but knew that she was flakey so we didn't give it much more thought. About the 4th week into the classes we got a phone call. It was from the cousin I mentioned earlier. She said that she was pregnant and already had a 18 month old that she couldn't take care of, would we like to adopt the baby. I didn't skip a beat when I said "Yes, we will get an attorney tomorrow and give you a call" We did just that. First we called an attorney here in Oregon and he said that we would need an attorney in Kansas (where the birth mom lived) He helped us find one and we went from there.
We found out that our child was due sometime in November. We talked to the birth mom often and my sister who also lives in Kansas even let her stay with her towards the end and they would send pictures of her and ultrasound pictures of the baby. To say we were excited would have been a huge understatement. We found out that the baby was going to be a boy. My first thought was "a boy, I don't know what to do with a boy" then hubby said "Hello, I'm a boy, I might know a thing or two" LOL We couldn't believe it. Everything went very smoothly. We went through all the legal hoops. We made plans to be there for the birth. We had plane tickets in hand, set to arrive November 12 and she would be induced November 13th.
And then, the unthinkable happened. My dad passed away on November 11th. It was a total surprise and really could be it's own post. I was floored to say the least. My dad lived in Oklahoma at the time. We had to change our flights for the next day to arrive in Oklahoma instead of Kansas. We couldn't have the induction date changed, it was time for our son to be born. All I could do was send Tim to Kansas while I stayed in Oklahoma and buried my father. He didn't want to leave me as you can imagine but I made him. I wanted one of us to be there when our son was born. We gave new meaning to divide and conquer.
So, on the 13th of Nov, hubby left and went to be with the birth mom as she was induced. I stayed with the majority of my family and of course my mom. Hubby called me frequently as the labor progressed. I was trying to sleep on and off and at 1:00 a.m. on the 14th of November I got a phone call that our son was almost here. I stayed on the phone and heard the birth mother pushing and then I heard my husband say "He's here" I waited for what seemed like hours to hear his first cry. By this time, my mom and sister were awake and we were all listening and crying. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, all mixed together. Tim got to cut the cord. I stayed on the phone with him for awhile just completely blown away. As you can imagine I didn't sleep much that night. Knowing that my son had been born and I was 4 hours away. Later on the 14th of November, I buried my father. One of the hardest things that I've had to do in my life. Right after the graveside service, my sister and brother-in-law were waiting to take me to meet my son. That was the longest 4 hour car ride of my life.
Mere words can't describe the feelings that I was having as we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Around 18 hours had passed since he came into this world. I was sure my heart would pound out of my chest as we rode up in the elevator. So many emotions swirling around in my head. So many things had happened in the last few days. As the elevator doors opened I thought that I might break out into a dead run. I knew that in a few short feet, I would meet my son for the first time. I could hold my husband, we would be a family at long last. I see Tim standing in the door waiting for me, holding what looks like a nicely wrapped, rather large burrito. Time stops as I see his face for the first time. Tears stream down my face as Tim places him in my arms and says "Here he is mom, your son". I can hardly see through the tears. Any doubt or fear that we might not bond was instantly gone. I knew that without a doubt this child was meant for us. As sure as if he had come out of my body, Heavenly Father sent him to me. This perfect little boy, all ten fingers and all ten toes. I wept tears of joy, tears of sorrow (for my father) , tears of relief, tears of exhaustion. Never had I thought you could have all these emotions at the same time.
We were able to stay with him in the room and before we left the hospital the papers had been signed by the birth mom. We had to stay in Kansas for 10 days until all the legal mumbo gumbo had been taken care of. The first few nights out of the hospital we stayed in a hotel. Just the 3 of us getting to know each other. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Could he really be ours? Did someone make a mistake? You mean we get to keep him?
The paperwork was finalized in February of 03. He was officially ours. What a ride the last nearly 5 years have been. I love being a mom. I feel blessed to be his mother. He is a vibrant, loving, funny, extremely active, curious, outgoing, fearless, stubborn (must get that from his dad) little being and I am humbled that Heavenly Father entrusted him to our care.
I used to think that a woman was defined by her ability to bear children but I now know that giving birth is just the beginning of being a mother. It's much much more than that. I'm thankful to have been given the chance. I'm thankful to a young mom that realized that she couldn't handle it and gave us this most precious gift. Look up grateful in the dictionary, my picture will be there.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
It all started in the year 1971 when a little girl named Tonya was born. Oh wait, maybe that's a little to far back. How about this. It all started when a boy named Tim and a girl named Tonya were married at tender ages of 21.
Like most people that age, we thought we knew it all and had a plan for when we would have children. We decided we would wait until we were 25 (we are the same age only 2 months apart) to start try to get pregnant. As scheduled somewhere in our 25th year we started trying. And as with most things that are scheduled, we soon found out that life doesn't always turn out as you plan it.
The first year went by and while we were discouraged we were still very hopeful. We started our first type of fertility treatment which was for me to take Clomid. Another year went buy with nothing. By this time we were dumbfounded. What was going on here? Didn't God know that all my life I wanted to grow up and be a mommy. Sure, I might have to work to help support the family but my family and being a mom would always come first. Why could all these people around me get pregnant? Why could the drug addict on the street pop out as many kids as she wanted? What was wrong with me? What had I done to deserve this?
At this point we started seeing a fertility specialist. We went through a few different treatments (I'll spare you the details) Still nothing. The next year or two were a blur. I underwent laparoscoptic surgery to find out what was broken in me. Much to my surprise I had a pretty significant case of Endometriosis (again, I'll spare you the details) Let's just say that it prevents things from working like they should. The surgeon did what she could to remove as much of it as she could. We left with renewed hope that we could be successful now. Another year goes by and the fertility treatments were getting more intense. By this time, I was injecting myself with hormones and Tim was even giving me a shot every couple of weeks. I had to go in several days a week to have blood drawn to find out when I was "ripe" for the treatments we were doing.
One day, I was getting my blood drawn and they came at me with the needle and I just lost it. I was sobbing. I couldn't stand getting stuck even one more time. Now as a side note, I used to be a Phlebotomist (a.k.a. vampire, blood sucker, the one who draws the blood) so there were many times when I was the Guinea pig for a new person learning to draw blood. I had never been afraid of needles. I was pretty tough, if I do say so myself. I had just had enough of being poked and prodded. Not to mention the fact that my hormones were raging with all the different treatments. Tim looked at me at this point and said "Enough is enough we're taking a break." So we did. We stopped all the treatments, the hormones, the drugs. It was a relief really. Don't get me wrong, I was still angry/mad/frustrated/hurt etc. It was just a relief to not be thinking about if for five seconds. It had consumed my every waking moment for 4 years. At some point, not sure of the timing, I went to have a treatment for the Endometriosis, not to get pregnant but because it is very painful and I hoped that I could "cure" it. The treatment was horrible. Essentially I was put into menopause for 6 months. Tim deserves a medal for putting up with me through this. First, I was pumped full of hormones for several years and then they took them all out of me in a very short period of time. To say that I was unstable would be a understatement. There was some hope that the last treatment would help but it was not to be.
To be continued......
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
There were so many people (90 to be exact) that came to support him and welcome him to the ward. We had to have the service part of it in the chapel instead of the font room. The party afterwards was great and had a great turnout as well. I didn't stop to count how many people but there were a lot. Hubby was truly touched by the outpouring of support. He was just floored that so many people cared. My friends from Utah have been to my ward several times but they always make a point to mention what a wonderful ward we have. I couldn't agree more.
I wish that I could put into words how special this weekend was. It was all I ever hoped for and more. Now on to the more difficult part of enduring to the end but I know that it will be much easier now that I have a partner to help me through. Now with hopeful optimism, I look forward to a year from now and the temple.
Thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement.
P.S. I left my camera at my friends house so you'll have to wait for pictures. I'll hurry :o)
Friday, September 14, 2007
I will officially start my new job/exciting adventure/country bumpkin goes to the city on October 1st. I smell a reality TV show in the making. It's a big change but I think it's the right thing for me.
By the way, we decided to go for the cookies/lemonade right after the baptism at the church and then a chili dog feed at a friends house after to celebrate.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car),
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie),
Udderly Chocolate Chip
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal),
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born),
Elaine Myrtle Beach
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first),
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink),
The Navy Lemonade
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers),
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy),
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ),
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter),
12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower).
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree),
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”),
The blogging lightning tour
Now this was fun!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
What happened on that day 6 years ago when our country lost so many precious lives to such a violent and senseless act. Our country also lost a great deal of our sense of security. We all came together that day and for quite some time after that regardless of age, race, religion or social status. We were UNITED. We mourned and cried together. There was a shortage of American flags, there was a sign in almost every business and car window. Many turned to the Lord to find answers. I'll never forget getting ready for work that morning and hearing about the first plane hitting the towers and then watching and listening the rest of the day as the horrors unfolded. I will never forget and I don't want to forget.
Since then our country is divided again far worse then we ever were before. I truly believe that United We Stand and Divided We Fall. This is what our enemy wants. They love that we don't agree. It's much easier that way. I realize that I'm rambling on and probably not making sense but I just couldn't let the day go by without remembering that terrible day. May God comfort those that mourn this day. May they know that I am out here and I will never forget what happened to their loved ones.
Monday, September 10, 2007
I'm not a career woman, I work because hubby and I didn't start out as financially "smart" as we are now (yeah right). So now we/I pay the price by working outside the home. This company is in downtown Portland. Now, I am a country bumpkin from way back so this is going way outside my comfort zone. I will be riding Max (which is a train that will drop me off very close to the building I'll be in). I think it's going to be a good fit. I already know one gal that works there because I used to work with her and it's a smaller company (way less corporate).
I still like the place I work now as far as the people are concerned and I will be sad and miss them terribly. I think this is the right choice for me and my family. I'm hoping to use the commute to catch up on some reading and in particular some scripture reading, which is poorly lacking. I'm scared, nervous, happy, excited and all of that wrapped into one. So, as I said before, wish me luck :o)
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
|You Belong in Fall|
You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings
Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
When I joined the church 5 1/2 years ago, I was the first in my family. I have prayed and hoped all these years that hubby would join the church. He has always been supportive in all that I do with the church and has gone a few times over the years but never really showed much interest. Recently, things that have happened in our life has caused him to think of his own mortality and so a few weeks ago he began the missionary lessons. They have been great lessons, filled with the spirit. I could see the wheels turning and could see him truly searching, pondering and praying. Last night he decided that he would be baptized and this will take place in a couple of weeks.
It's been amazing to see him go through this transformation. To have a court side seat to watch the spirit really work in his life. So many people have prayed for him and I know that this had an impact as well and I am thankful. I am so happy for him and for our family. I know with all my heart that he is making the right choice.
Could I be any more blessed? Could I be anymore thankful to my Heavenly Father? No, my heart is full and I am truly blessed beyond measure.
Monday, August 27, 2007
So, off we go out of the store and down the street when I hear this strange thumping sound. I look down and see that my son has on one of his shoes and is holding the other and what is on the other foot you ask? , It was a size 10 men's dress shoe in black. Yep, I was mortified and of course my friend is just cracking up and so are several other people that saw the whole thing unfold. We turn around and march back in there so we can return the shoe to the sale rack. Luckily the nice salesperson just laughed instead of calling the police :o) When I asked my little shoe bandit what he thought he was doing, he said " I don't know mommy, I just wanted to play with it" They start so young with the life of crime these days.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
But seriously, I need to resist the urge right now to walk over there and get a oatmeal cream pie. I can't expect hubby and son to not have any treats just because I am a weakling. I am just going to keep my fingers on the keyboard and then they can't be stuffing things in the mouth right? Good plan, I like it.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
I'll never forget standing in the exam room when Blake was 6 months old, fully expecting the doctor to say that the murmur was benign, and he said he would need open heart surgery. I went numb and literally had to ask him to repeat himself. After he repeated himself 3 or 4 more times and I tried to convince him that my sons chest and heart were much to small for them to work on, I started to feel this sense of peace and assurance that everything was going to be okay. It was going to be a hard journey but ultimately I knew that everything was going to be okay. It was a difficult thing to watch my then 7 month old little boy go through but he is okay, more than okay, he is so full of life and love that sometimes it seems as though he's trying to live 2 lives just to make sure he makes the most of it. I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for that assurance through the holy ghost that everything was going to be okay. I am thankful that I sit here now listening to him splash and play in the tub. I am just plain thankful.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
My mother was an awesome cook and I grew up in the south where everything was better when it was breaded and fried. So, you would think after struggling with this for nearly 36 years that I would have a handle on it but I so DON'T. Every year or so, I'll resolve to lose the weight once and for all and I'll lose a good bit of it but inevitably, I will gain it back and then some. Currently, I have lost about 26 pounds over the last several months. I was really inspired this time when we had a "weight-loss" challenge at work and we all did really well. Not surprisingly (at least to me) as soon as the challenge was over, I have gradually started back-sliding and have gained back a few pounds.
Why oh why, do I repeat this behavior over and over again. That is the million dollar question. I know the right things to do, I know how to work out, I know how to eat right, I know what plan works best for me (weight watchers) and yet, my desire for the bad stuff seems to win every time. I am the poster child for yo-yo dieting. I know that I will never be a skinny person and I am okay with that but I am just not comfortable in my own skin anymore.
I've never had a self-esteem problem (shocking isn't it). I can thank my mom for that "thanks mom". But lately I am so aware of my size and that it's uncomfortable and I fidget and I want to fix it. My knees have paid the price already and I don't want to be looking back a decade from now and writing the same story about still being in this battle. I want to win not only this battle but the war.
I have decided that I'm going to start blogging about it. I might...I said might even get brave enough to post my weight here maybe it will help with accountability. We finally purchased a scale so I have to face the truth on a much more regular basis.
No more excuses.....NO MORE. More on this to follow.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Him: "Mom, I know why the dryer died"
Me: Oh yeah, why?
Him: "Yep, you used it to much"
Why didn't I think of that? I knew that I did too much laundry but now I have proof. What a smart boy :o)
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Me: Blake, you really need to go to sleep
Him: Mommy, I need just one more hug and a kiss
Me: Okay, stand up
Him: He stands up and wraps his little arms around me and puts his head on my shoulder and says "Mommy, can we just dance for a few minutes" (he has always listened to lullabies as he goes to sleep and the CD was still playing)
Me: Sure honey
And we stood there, him standing on his bed with his head on my shoulder and we swayed slowly to the music. After a few minutes, I lay him back down and he says "Mommy, I love you" What more could I ever ask for in this world. Nothing, not one thing could be better than a moment like that. I am truly blessed.