I can't believe it's been 3 years ago today that I lost my mom. I really do miss her. She taught me so much about being a mom and that it's much more than just giving birth to a child. She taught me to laugh when things were hard. She taught me that I could be whatever I wanted. She taught me not to live in the past and that the past did not have to define me.
I'm only sad because I can't talk to her today or open her annual musical Christmas card. I know she is in a better place and I know her heart and I'm sure that she has accepted the gospel. She is no longer in pain. She is watching over me. It seems I can feel her near at times. Today is one of those times.
I love you mom. I know I will see you again. I look forward to that sweet reunion. Thank you for all you taught me and for loving that little 5 year old messed up girl when you didn't have to. Thank you for being my mom.
Showing posts with label My mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My mom. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 24, 2007
My Mom
As I mentioned briefly in my last post, I lost my mom 2 years ago today. She had been sick for a really long time so in some ways it was a blessing. The most important thing I learned from my mom is that it takes much more than biology to be a mother. You see, the woman I grew up calling my mom was technically my step mom. I met her when I was 4 years old and I still have the memory as though it were yesterday (which is saying something for me because I have a horrible memory)
She never pushed me to call her mom. She just let it happen naturally. My birth mother was just that, a birth mother. She had some problems with addiction and all I remember of her is that she slept a lot. When Ms. Betty Sunday came around, I was a mess in need of a mother. She had two grown children but that didn't stop her from loving me.
In many ways, I think she saved me. She taught me about hard work and most of all laughter. We laughed so much. She loved my dad even though he was the hardest man alive to love. They were soul mates and I really feel they are back together again right now. She taught me how to stand up for myself and that I was the one that would choose how I would turn out. She was proud of me. I have so many fond memories of playing with her an my cousins on the farm I grew up on. We didn't have much money but when dad was away, we would play. We had food fights and water fights. She was the kind of mom that would spank you when you needed it but it was never unfair.
Later in life when I moved several states away from her she was never bitter. She was happy that I was happy and had made a life for myself. We kept in touch and I was able to say my goodbyes. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital and I had knew deep down that it would be the last time I would see her. We cuddled and I told her how much she had meant to me over the years. I told her that she taught me what it meant to be a mother. She didn't have to take in that ragamuffin 4 year old little girl and love her. She could have just been my step mom. But she wasn't. I was hers and she never said or acted in any other way.
I miss you mom, I miss your stories and your letters and your cards. I am thankful that I will see you again someday and that I am sure in the knowledge of this. I am glad you aren't in pain anymore and that you are with your love. Make him behave until I see you guys again. I am happy and I am strong and you had a big hand in that. I love you mom...forever.
She never pushed me to call her mom. She just let it happen naturally. My birth mother was just that, a birth mother. She had some problems with addiction and all I remember of her is that she slept a lot. When Ms. Betty Sunday came around, I was a mess in need of a mother. She had two grown children but that didn't stop her from loving me.
In many ways, I think she saved me. She taught me about hard work and most of all laughter. We laughed so much. She loved my dad even though he was the hardest man alive to love. They were soul mates and I really feel they are back together again right now. She taught me how to stand up for myself and that I was the one that would choose how I would turn out. She was proud of me. I have so many fond memories of playing with her an my cousins on the farm I grew up on. We didn't have much money but when dad was away, we would play. We had food fights and water fights. She was the kind of mom that would spank you when you needed it but it was never unfair.
Later in life when I moved several states away from her she was never bitter. She was happy that I was happy and had made a life for myself. We kept in touch and I was able to say my goodbyes. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital and I had knew deep down that it would be the last time I would see her. We cuddled and I told her how much she had meant to me over the years. I told her that she taught me what it meant to be a mother. She didn't have to take in that ragamuffin 4 year old little girl and love her. She could have just been my step mom. But she wasn't. I was hers and she never said or acted in any other way.
I miss you mom, I miss your stories and your letters and your cards. I am thankful that I will see you again someday and that I am sure in the knowledge of this. I am glad you aren't in pain anymore and that you are with your love. Make him behave until I see you guys again. I am happy and I am strong and you had a big hand in that. I love you mom...forever.
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