Monday, December 24, 2007

My Mom

As I mentioned briefly in my last post, I lost my mom 2 years ago today. She had been sick for a really long time so in some ways it was a blessing. The most important thing I learned from my mom is that it takes much more than biology to be a mother. You see, the woman I grew up calling my mom was technically my step mom. I met her when I was 4 years old and I still have the memory as though it were yesterday (which is saying something for me because I have a horrible memory)
She never pushed me to call her mom. She just let it happen naturally. My birth mother was just that, a birth mother. She had some problems with addiction and all I remember of her is that she slept a lot. When Ms. Betty Sunday came around, I was a mess in need of a mother. She had two grown children but that didn't stop her from loving me.

In many ways, I think she saved me. She taught me about hard work and most of all laughter. We laughed so much. She loved my dad even though he was the hardest man alive to love. They were soul mates and I really feel they are back together again right now. She taught me how to stand up for myself and that I was the one that would choose how I would turn out. She was proud of me. I have so many fond memories of playing with her an my cousins on the farm I grew up on. We didn't have much money but when dad was away, we would play. We had food fights and water fights. She was the kind of mom that would spank you when you needed it but it was never unfair.

Later in life when I moved several states away from her she was never bitter. She was happy that I was happy and had made a life for myself. We kept in touch and I was able to say my goodbyes. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital and I had knew deep down that it would be the last time I would see her. We cuddled and I told her how much she had meant to me over the years. I told her that she taught me what it meant to be a mother. She didn't have to take in that ragamuffin 4 year old little girl and love her. She could have just been my step mom. But she wasn't. I was hers and she never said or acted in any other way.

I miss you mom, I miss your stories and your letters and your cards. I am thankful that I will see you again someday and that I am sure in the knowledge of this. I am glad you aren't in pain anymore and that you are with your love. Make him behave until I see you guys again. I am happy and I am strong and you had a big hand in that. I love you mom...forever.


Yvonne said...

Tonya, that was so incredibly touching. I'm so glad you had her in your life, and I'm sure she was grateful to have you in hers.

Thank you for sharing something so close to your heart.

Nancy Face said...

Like Yvonne said, I want to thank you for sharing such touching memories. Your mom had so much love to share, and I'm so glad she came into your life.

Melissa said...

Tonya - what a wonderful blessing in your life! I'm so glad that this great woman stepped in when you were a child. What a difference one person can make!!

Mo Mommy said...

That was wonderful. Beautiful and honest and truly heartfelt. Thank you

Charlotte said...

Thank you. I loved this.

Josi said...

That was beautiful. It's the kind of mom I want to be and yet it feels so far away most of the time. What an amazing gift she was to you and vice versa. Thanks for sharing.