Remember way back here when I asked for some ideas to blog about. I started answering and then life happened and well......better late than never right? A sweet bloggy friend Elaine asked the following
"I'd love to know a little about your childhood and siblings. maybe one of your favorite childhood memories with your siblings"
I touched on this topic a little in my 100 things about me post but I'll try to explain my childhood a little more.
My father was in the airforce when I was born. He got out when I was three. He divorced my birth mother when I was 4 and I really don't have many memories of her. She was addicted to a couple of substances that made it really hard (read impossible) for her to function as a mother. I do remember her sleeping a lot and my sister who is 8 years old than I am really took care of me.
Soon after divorcing my birth mom, my father married a wonderful woman named Betty who became my mother. She was everything I needed and as I have said many times, she saved me. We didn't have much money but we were happy. Soon, we moved to a farm and soon my sister grew up and moved away. A couple of my cousins lived with us for several years and became my surrogate brothers. We had a lot of good times on the farm. My mom was very playful and when my dad was gone we would have food fights, water fights and any other kind of cheap fun she could dream up. My dad was an alcoholic which made it difficult for anyone to live with him an eventually they split up.
He wouldn't allow me to stay with who technically was my step-mother so I had to live with him. This was a really hard time for me because I wanted to be with the only mom I had ever really know but he wouldn't allow it. She had no legal claim. He married again to someone that had raised her kids and was in no mood to start again with a teenager. They divorced when I was 18 and I can't say that I was sad about it.
The good news in this really kind of depressing post is that in the end my mom (technically my stop mom) and my dad got back together in the end. They really were soul mates and I believe they are together again in the next world. I know it sounds like my life was kind of difficult and at times it was but I have many good memories and all the things I went through shaped me into the person I am today (explains a LOT doesn't it..LOL)
Showing posts with label Stranger than fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stranger than fiction. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Our journey to parenthood Part 2
Part 1 is here
I joined the church (a whole other story) in March of 2002 so that would have been close to six years that we had been trying. We decided that we would start looking into adoption. Private adoption through an agency was way outside our budget so we started looking at it through the state. The first thing you do is take a 6 week set of classes. We started the classes and in July of 02 we heard from my mom that one of my second cousins by marriage was pregnant and didn't want the baby. We were hopeful but knew that she was flakey so we didn't give it much more thought. About the 4th week into the classes we got a phone call. It was from the cousin I mentioned earlier. She said that she was pregnant and already had a 18 month old that she couldn't take care of, would we like to adopt the baby. I didn't skip a beat when I said "Yes, we will get an attorney tomorrow and give you a call" We did just that. First we called an attorney here in Oregon and he said that we would need an attorney in Kansas (where the birth mom lived) He helped us find one and we went from there.
We found out that our child was due sometime in November. We talked to the birth mom often and my sister who also lives in Kansas even let her stay with her towards the end and they would send pictures of her and ultrasound pictures of the baby. To say we were excited would have been a huge understatement. We found out that the baby was going to be a boy. My first thought was "a boy, I don't know what to do with a boy" then hubby said "Hello, I'm a boy, I might know a thing or two" LOL We couldn't believe it. Everything went very smoothly. We went through all the legal hoops. We made plans to be there for the birth. We had plane tickets in hand, set to arrive November 12 and she would be induced November 13th.
And then, the unthinkable happened. My dad passed away on November 11th. It was a total surprise and really could be it's own post. I was floored to say the least. My dad lived in Oklahoma at the time. We had to change our flights for the next day to arrive in Oklahoma instead of Kansas. We couldn't have the induction date changed, it was time for our son to be born. All I could do was send Tim to Kansas while I stayed in Oklahoma and buried my father. He didn't want to leave me as you can imagine but I made him. I wanted one of us to be there when our son was born. We gave new meaning to divide and conquer.
So, on the 13th of Nov, hubby left and went to be with the birth mom as she was induced. I stayed with the majority of my family and of course my mom. Hubby called me frequently as the labor progressed. I was trying to sleep on and off and at 1:00 a.m. on the 14th of November I got a phone call that our son was almost here. I stayed on the phone and heard the birth mother pushing and then I heard my husband say "He's here" I waited for what seemed like hours to hear his first cry. By this time, my mom and sister were awake and we were all listening and crying. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, all mixed together. Tim got to cut the cord. I stayed on the phone with him for awhile just completely blown away. As you can imagine I didn't sleep much that night. Knowing that my son had been born and I was 4 hours away. Later on the 14th of November, I buried my father. One of the hardest things that I've had to do in my life. Right after the graveside service, my sister and brother-in-law were waiting to take me to meet my son. That was the longest 4 hour car ride of my life.
Mere words can't describe the feelings that I was having as we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Around 18 hours had passed since he came into this world. I was sure my heart would pound out of my chest as we rode up in the elevator. So many emotions swirling around in my head. So many things had happened in the last few days. As the elevator doors opened I thought that I might break out into a dead run. I knew that in a few short feet, I would meet my son for the first time. I could hold my husband, we would be a family at long last. I see Tim standing in the door waiting for me, holding what looks like a nicely wrapped, rather large burrito. Time stops as I see his face for the first time. Tears stream down my face as Tim places him in my arms and says "Here he is mom, your son". I can hardly see through the tears. Any doubt or fear that we might not bond was instantly gone. I knew that without a doubt this child was meant for us. As sure as if he had come out of my body, Heavenly Father sent him to me. This perfect little boy, all ten fingers and all ten toes. I wept tears of joy, tears of sorrow (for my father) , tears of relief, tears of exhaustion. Never had I thought you could have all these emotions at the same time.
We were able to stay with him in the room and before we left the hospital the papers had been signed by the birth mom. We had to stay in Kansas for 10 days until all the legal mumbo gumbo had been taken care of. The first few nights out of the hospital we stayed in a hotel. Just the 3 of us getting to know each other. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Could he really be ours? Did someone make a mistake? You mean we get to keep him?
The paperwork was finalized in February of 03. He was officially ours. What a ride the last nearly 5 years have been. I love being a mom. I feel blessed to be his mother. He is a vibrant, loving, funny, extremely active, curious, outgoing, fearless, stubborn (must get that from his dad) little being and I am humbled that Heavenly Father entrusted him to our care.
I used to think that a woman was defined by her ability to bear children but I now know that giving birth is just the beginning of being a mother. It's much much more than that. I'm thankful to have been given the chance. I'm thankful to a young mom that realized that she couldn't handle it and gave us this most precious gift. Look up grateful in the dictionary, my picture will be there.
I joined the church (a whole other story) in March of 2002 so that would have been close to six years that we had been trying. We decided that we would start looking into adoption. Private adoption through an agency was way outside our budget so we started looking at it through the state. The first thing you do is take a 6 week set of classes. We started the classes and in July of 02 we heard from my mom that one of my second cousins by marriage was pregnant and didn't want the baby. We were hopeful but knew that she was flakey so we didn't give it much more thought. About the 4th week into the classes we got a phone call. It was from the cousin I mentioned earlier. She said that she was pregnant and already had a 18 month old that she couldn't take care of, would we like to adopt the baby. I didn't skip a beat when I said "Yes, we will get an attorney tomorrow and give you a call" We did just that. First we called an attorney here in Oregon and he said that we would need an attorney in Kansas (where the birth mom lived) He helped us find one and we went from there.
We found out that our child was due sometime in November. We talked to the birth mom often and my sister who also lives in Kansas even let her stay with her towards the end and they would send pictures of her and ultrasound pictures of the baby. To say we were excited would have been a huge understatement. We found out that the baby was going to be a boy. My first thought was "a boy, I don't know what to do with a boy" then hubby said "Hello, I'm a boy, I might know a thing or two" LOL We couldn't believe it. Everything went very smoothly. We went through all the legal hoops. We made plans to be there for the birth. We had plane tickets in hand, set to arrive November 12 and she would be induced November 13th.
And then, the unthinkable happened. My dad passed away on November 11th. It was a total surprise and really could be it's own post. I was floored to say the least. My dad lived in Oklahoma at the time. We had to change our flights for the next day to arrive in Oklahoma instead of Kansas. We couldn't have the induction date changed, it was time for our son to be born. All I could do was send Tim to Kansas while I stayed in Oklahoma and buried my father. He didn't want to leave me as you can imagine but I made him. I wanted one of us to be there when our son was born. We gave new meaning to divide and conquer.
So, on the 13th of Nov, hubby left and went to be with the birth mom as she was induced. I stayed with the majority of my family and of course my mom. Hubby called me frequently as the labor progressed. I was trying to sleep on and off and at 1:00 a.m. on the 14th of November I got a phone call that our son was almost here. I stayed on the phone and heard the birth mother pushing and then I heard my husband say "He's here" I waited for what seemed like hours to hear his first cry. By this time, my mom and sister were awake and we were all listening and crying. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, all mixed together. Tim got to cut the cord. I stayed on the phone with him for awhile just completely blown away. As you can imagine I didn't sleep much that night. Knowing that my son had been born and I was 4 hours away. Later on the 14th of November, I buried my father. One of the hardest things that I've had to do in my life. Right after the graveside service, my sister and brother-in-law were waiting to take me to meet my son. That was the longest 4 hour car ride of my life.
Mere words can't describe the feelings that I was having as we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Around 18 hours had passed since he came into this world. I was sure my heart would pound out of my chest as we rode up in the elevator. So many emotions swirling around in my head. So many things had happened in the last few days. As the elevator doors opened I thought that I might break out into a dead run. I knew that in a few short feet, I would meet my son for the first time. I could hold my husband, we would be a family at long last. I see Tim standing in the door waiting for me, holding what looks like a nicely wrapped, rather large burrito. Time stops as I see his face for the first time. Tears stream down my face as Tim places him in my arms and says "Here he is mom, your son". I can hardly see through the tears. Any doubt or fear that we might not bond was instantly gone. I knew that without a doubt this child was meant for us. As sure as if he had come out of my body, Heavenly Father sent him to me. This perfect little boy, all ten fingers and all ten toes. I wept tears of joy, tears of sorrow (for my father) , tears of relief, tears of exhaustion. Never had I thought you could have all these emotions at the same time.
We were able to stay with him in the room and before we left the hospital the papers had been signed by the birth mom. We had to stay in Kansas for 10 days until all the legal mumbo gumbo had been taken care of. The first few nights out of the hospital we stayed in a hotel. Just the 3 of us getting to know each other. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Could he really be ours? Did someone make a mistake? You mean we get to keep him?
The paperwork was finalized in February of 03. He was officially ours. What a ride the last nearly 5 years have been. I love being a mom. I feel blessed to be his mother. He is a vibrant, loving, funny, extremely active, curious, outgoing, fearless, stubborn (must get that from his dad) little being and I am humbled that Heavenly Father entrusted him to our care.
I used to think that a woman was defined by her ability to bear children but I now know that giving birth is just the beginning of being a mother. It's much much more than that. I'm thankful to have been given the chance. I'm thankful to a young mom that realized that she couldn't handle it and gave us this most precious gift. Look up grateful in the dictionary, my picture will be there.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Our journey to parenthood Part 1
Thanks to Carrie for the idea to post about this.
It all started in the year 1971 when a little girl named Tonya was born. Oh wait, maybe that's a little to far back. How about this. It all started when a boy named Tim and a girl named Tonya were married at tender ages of 21.
Like most people that age, we thought we knew it all and had a plan for when we would have children. We decided we would wait until we were 25 (we are the same age only 2 months apart) to start try to get pregnant. As scheduled somewhere in our 25th year we started trying. And as with most things that are scheduled, we soon found out that life doesn't always turn out as you plan it.
At this point we started seeing a fertility specialist. We went through a few different treatments (I'll spare you the details) Still nothing. The next year or two were a blur. I underwent laparoscoptic surgery to find out what was broken in me. Much to my surprise I had a pretty significant case of Endometriosis (again, I'll spare you the details) Let's just say that it prevents things from working like they should. The surgeon did what she could to remove as much of it as she could. We left with renewed hope that we could be successful now. Another year goes by and the fertility treatments were getting more intense. By this time, I was injecting myself with hormones and Tim was even giving me a shot every couple of weeks. I had to go in several days a week to have blood drawn to find out when I was "ripe" for the treatments we were doing.
One day, I was getting my blood drawn and they came at me with the needle and I just lost it. I was sobbing. I couldn't stand getting stuck even one more time. Now as a side note, I used to be a Phlebotomist (a.k.a. vampire, blood sucker, the one who draws the blood) so there were many times when I was the Guinea pig for a new person learning to draw blood. I had never been afraid of needles. I was pretty tough, if I do say so myself. I had just had enough of being poked and prodded. Not to mention the fact that my hormones were raging with all the different treatments. Tim looked at me at this point and said "Enough is enough we're taking a break." So we did. We stopped all the treatments, the hormones, the drugs. It was a relief really. Don't get me wrong, I was still angry/mad/frustrated/hurt etc. It was just a relief to not be thinking about if for five seconds. It had consumed my every waking moment for 4 years. At some point, not sure of the timing, I went to have a treatment for the Endometriosis, not to get pregnant but because it is very painful and I hoped that I could "cure" it. The treatment was horrible. Essentially I was put into menopause for 6 months. Tim deserves a medal for putting up with me through this. First, I was pumped full of hormones for several years and then they took them all out of me in a very short period of time. To say that I was unstable would be a understatement. There was some hope that the last treatment would help but it was not to be.
To be continued......
It all started in the year 1971 when a little girl named Tonya was born. Oh wait, maybe that's a little to far back. How about this. It all started when a boy named Tim and a girl named Tonya were married at tender ages of 21.
Like most people that age, we thought we knew it all and had a plan for when we would have children. We decided we would wait until we were 25 (we are the same age only 2 months apart) to start try to get pregnant. As scheduled somewhere in our 25th year we started trying. And as with most things that are scheduled, we soon found out that life doesn't always turn out as you plan it.
The first year went by and while we were discouraged we were still very hopeful. We started our first type of fertility treatment which was for me to take Clomid. Another year went buy with nothing. By this time we were dumbfounded. What was going on here? Didn't God know that all my life I wanted to grow up and be a mommy. Sure, I might have to work to help support the family but my family and being a mom would always come first. Why could all these people around me get pregnant? Why could the drug addict on the street pop out as many kids as she wanted? What was wrong with me? What had I done to deserve this?
At this point we started seeing a fertility specialist. We went through a few different treatments (I'll spare you the details) Still nothing. The next year or two were a blur. I underwent laparoscoptic surgery to find out what was broken in me. Much to my surprise I had a pretty significant case of Endometriosis (again, I'll spare you the details) Let's just say that it prevents things from working like they should. The surgeon did what she could to remove as much of it as she could. We left with renewed hope that we could be successful now. Another year goes by and the fertility treatments were getting more intense. By this time, I was injecting myself with hormones and Tim was even giving me a shot every couple of weeks. I had to go in several days a week to have blood drawn to find out when I was "ripe" for the treatments we were doing.
One day, I was getting my blood drawn and they came at me with the needle and I just lost it. I was sobbing. I couldn't stand getting stuck even one more time. Now as a side note, I used to be a Phlebotomist (a.k.a. vampire, blood sucker, the one who draws the blood) so there were many times when I was the Guinea pig for a new person learning to draw blood. I had never been afraid of needles. I was pretty tough, if I do say so myself. I had just had enough of being poked and prodded. Not to mention the fact that my hormones were raging with all the different treatments. Tim looked at me at this point and said "Enough is enough we're taking a break." So we did. We stopped all the treatments, the hormones, the drugs. It was a relief really. Don't get me wrong, I was still angry/mad/frustrated/hurt etc. It was just a relief to not be thinking about if for five seconds. It had consumed my every waking moment for 4 years. At some point, not sure of the timing, I went to have a treatment for the Endometriosis, not to get pregnant but because it is very painful and I hoped that I could "cure" it. The treatment was horrible. Essentially I was put into menopause for 6 months. Tim deserves a medal for putting up with me through this. First, I was pumped full of hormones for several years and then they took them all out of me in a very short period of time. To say that I was unstable would be a understatement. There was some hope that the last treatment would help but it was not to be.
To be continued......
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