Sunday, November 11, 2007

I will always remember

I remember you today Dad. Not that I don't think of you often because I do but today I think of you even more because it has been 5 years ago today since you left this world. I often wonder what you thought as you passed through the veil. I miss you. I wonder if you ever get to catch a glimpse of us. Have you accepted the gospel? Do you miss the alcohol? Are you ready for me to have your work done? It was so unexpected when we lost you. I hope you didn't suffer.

It's Veterans day which I always thought was appropriate for you to pass away on having served for 21 years in the Airforce. You were a military man through and through and cultivated in me a great love of the men and women who fight and have fought for our freedom. I am very patriotic and even have a tattoo of the flag that you never saw.

I have cried today thinking of you and your big tough exterior. You were formidable at 6'6 and 250 pounds. I know that you did the best you could and that being addicted to the alcohol was a disease. It was very hard to live with you with the alcohol. I often wonder what it would have been like without it. It was hard to watch you push away everyone that loved you and that you loved but were too proud to say it. Regardless, you helped me know what it means to work hard and "if you are going to do it, do it right". You instilled in me a great work ethic and showed me what it was like to be loyal to those that you love. You didn't say it often but I know that you loved me. I know because you always took care of me. I'm glad that I forgave you before you were gone. I miss you singing to me on my Birthday, I miss you calling me Ethel May. I miss you Dad. I hope we will see each other again. I hope you are proud of me. I hope you know how happy I am. I love you!

9 comments:

b. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's tough each year on "the day". I'm sending you good thoughts and a big hug....{{{{{Tonya}}}}}}}
You're a beautiful soul!

Nancy Face said...

This was very touching. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm thinking about you and sending you a hug.
(((Tonya)))

Yvonne said...

Tonya--that was so sweet. It sounds like your dad taught you some wonderful things.

Carrie said...

That was a beautiful post, I'm so sorry for you loss. I think it's so touching to see how much you love your dad, even though he made mistakes, and that you realize how much he also loved you.

Kimberly said...

That was beautiful.

JustRandi said...

I'm so sorry, Tonya. You wrote about that beautifully. I'm so glad you were able to sort out your feelings a little before he died.

Melissa said...

Tonya, I'm so sorry. That was a wonderful post though. Hugs to you!!!

Clement Family said...

You are so wonderfull. I am glad you have good thoughts of your dad......:) You deserve it.

Lammy said...

What a beautifully tender post!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts this day.