Thursday, August 16, 2007

Battle of the Bulge

This is something that I have battled all of my life as far back as I can remember and so far, I am losing. I never remember a time where I was happy with my weight. I always like to joke that I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, sad, mad, glad, stressed, it doesn't matter which emotion. I have always been this way.

My mother was an awesome cook and I grew up in the south where everything was better when it was breaded and fried. So, you would think after struggling with this for nearly 36 years that I would have a handle on it but I so DON'T. Every year or so, I'll resolve to lose the weight once and for all and I'll lose a good bit of it but inevitably, I will gain it back and then some. Currently, I have lost about 26 pounds over the last several months. I was really inspired this time when we had a "weight-loss" challenge at work and we all did really well. Not surprisingly (at least to me) as soon as the challenge was over, I have gradually started back-sliding and have gained back a few pounds.

Why oh why, do I repeat this behavior over and over again. That is the million dollar question. I know the right things to do, I know how to work out, I know how to eat right, I know what plan works best for me (weight watchers) and yet, my desire for the bad stuff seems to win every time. I am the poster child for yo-yo dieting. I know that I will never be a skinny person and I am okay with that but I am just not comfortable in my own skin anymore.

I've never had a self-esteem problem (shocking isn't it). I can thank my mom for that "thanks mom". But lately I am so aware of my size and that it's uncomfortable and I fidget and I want to fix it. My knees have paid the price already and I don't want to be looking back a decade from now and writing the same story about still being in this battle. I want to win not only this battle but the war.

I have decided that I'm going to start blogging about it. I might...I said might even get brave enough to post my weight here maybe it will help with accountability. We finally purchased a scale so I have to face the truth on a much more regular basis.

No more excuses.....NO MORE. More on this to follow.

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Sweetie, I'm right there with you. Blogging about it helps soooo much. You can't fix what you don't face. I find the more I admit my struggles, the easier they become.

I highly recommend the blog of The Amazing Shrinking Mom. She's really inspiring. Also the book, YOU: On a Diet. Kind of odd writing style, but amazingly useful information. Explains all about how our bodies process different foods, how some make us more satisfied than others and why. It was a huge eye opener for me.

Last year I read every book on nutrition and weight loss I could get my hands on. I've learned a lot, but still have to fight. Have good days and bad. Still, I'm down twenty-five pounds from last year, so I must be doing something right, eh? =)