Thursday, January 8, 2009

Thinking about putting ourselves out there...again

Hubby and I had a conversation last night about something that has been on my mind for quite some time now. We talked about adopting another child. Now we have had this discussion before so many times and would have already done it if it weren't for the money required through most agencies.

I've had this feeling lately that we need forget about the agencies and start the process of adoption through the state or Oregon. We have also talked about this over the years as we had started this a little over 6 years ago when we found out about Blake. The biggest reason we haven't followed through is because of what we learned about most of the kids that come through for adoption with the state. Most have been abused, neglected, exposed to drugs and a myriad of other horrors that you can hardly imagine. I've been worried that I couldn't give all that these children would need because I work outside the home. It wouldn't be fair to them.
I still feel that way to some degree but I also can't shake the feeling that our family isn't complete.

I was 4 1/2 when the woman I consider to be my mom came into my life. I had been through the ringer. I'm sure not as badly as most of the kids that are up for adoption through the state but I had my share of baggage. She worked outside the home and still managed to make me feel loved, wanted and cared for. It took some time but I bonded with her.
Maybe we could make it work. Maybe it's time to quit coming up with reasons why it won't work and show a little faith.

We're going to the temple on Saturday with our ward and we're going to take a prayer with us about this and we're also going to fast about it. We should have done this sooner I realize that but sometimes we a little slow on the uptake..lol

Maybe, just maybe there is a little person out there that needs us as much as we need them. Time will tell.

13 comments:

Melissa said...

Tonya - you are such an awesome mom!! Going to the temple with a question is always a good idea. HUGS and prayers coming your way!

Charlotte said...

Wow. Good luck with the decision. It's a great one to be considering for sure.

Corrine said...

sending prayers and hugs your way. what a time. I often have thought that when we get those fleeting feelings, that just don't seem to fleet, there is a reason. Hopefully a new spirit (whether new to earth or to you) will be joining y'all soon.

Rockelle said...

You GO Girl!
There was a gal in my ward in Hillsboro that adopted 4 kids...siblings through the state and I think they loved the whole thing.
I have an old friend here that is one of the state workers...Her name is Christina Drefs...maybe you should talk to her? If you want to I will give you her contact #
I am praying for you too!

Kimberly said...

Oh honey, sounds like the spirit is guiding you guys in this. Hope the temple trip brings the clarity you're hoping for!

I know the wait with LDS Family Services can be long, but that might be worth a try too. =)

Nancy Face said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nancy Face said...

It made me feel so good inside to read this. You and your hubby have so much love to give...what a blessing you can be to another little one who needs you! I'll be praying for you! (((HUGS)))

gmckibbe said...

Tonya, whatever you and Tim decide, it will be the right decision for you. You both are making the decision the right way, with the help of the spirit. We will be there to support you whatever the outcome will be. You are both such loving and great parents that I know you can make it work. What a big, but exciting decision! We're thinking of you!

chellie said...

I'm so happy for you and you are doing it all the right way. You are amazing! Any little child would be lucky to call you mom (whether you work outside the home or not). I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

Amber said...

Big decision but you are going about it in the correct way. If it comes to that, another little spirit would be so blessed to bein your home!

Nissinen's said...

I just love the two of you............. I think you are both fun, crazy, loving, and most wonderful parent that I know. I'm sure Heavenly Father does too. Any child would be so blessed to have the two of you and a "big" brother like Blake. I will keep you in my prayers.

Kate said...

*HUGS*
Good luck with this awesome choice to add to your family!

Lammy said...

Don't forget to look into the church's adoption program.
We had very good friends adopt through the church program and it was ideal. Very affordable.